Where Does Insecurity In Relationships Come From?
You can only hope that when you find someone to spend your life with that you have found peace, harmony, love, and understanding. Many people toss around the phrase ‘soul mates’ but often in the wrong way. No relationship is easy, and those that think love and marriage are fun and easy are the ones that end up divorced. No matter what happens or how much you love each other, there are going to be times in your life when you have to deal with insecurity in relationships. Learn where they come from and what you can do about them.
Insecurity in a relationship often comes from a simple and fixable source, but many couples have trouble really pinpointing it. They always think the feeling comes from something the other has done, but most of the time it comes from a feeling within themselves. There is always a problem that cause these feelings, but the root of them goes further than the actual event. If you cannot figure out why you are feeling so insecure or why your partner is feeling that way, the empathy needed to fix the problem will never arise. This ends many otherwise promising relationships.
Imagine for a moment that your spouse or partner has had what you think of as too close of a friendship with someone of the opposite sex. Though nothing physical happened between them, they were relying on them for things they should have been coming to you for. In other words, they had an emotional affair. This is one very common reason for insecurity in relationships, but does not have to mean the end of the relationship. It depends on if someone is sorry and willing to fix the problem, and if the hurt party can overcome insecurity.
In this situation, when the offending party comes clean and makes the changes needed to save the relationship, there is no reason why it could not continue – sometimes better than it was. However, this is where insecurity in a relationship can make or break the union between two people. The person who was hurt has earned time to heal and to ask for changes. They need to feel safe, but if they have deep rooted trust issues, or experienced infidelity in their parents’ marriage, these insecurities can prevent them from forgiving and moving on. If the offending partner does not realize, know, or understand this, it is quite possible that all is lost.
On the other hand, if this insecurity in a relationship feeling is made known, both partners can better understand what needs to be done if the relationship is to be saved. Those with the trust issues have to speak up and let their partner know how deep the wound goes, how they might have a history that leaves them prone to distrust and pushing away people that cause them pain. Not all relationships can be saved, but when both partners want to save it and are honest to the point of feeling vulnerable to the other, things can continue and thrive.